Speak your mind



I've learned that if your voice shakes when you speak your mind, it probably is something that has long been left unsaid and the result of it is either incredible happiness or incredible sadness. 

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Today is the first day of Spring!  Yay!  Apparently the weatherman didn't get that particular memo because it is POURING rain, COLD, and WINDY.  Oh, and there's a chance of snow today and tomorrow.  Fabulous. 

I think there is a high likelihood I won't get out of my jammies today. And that there will be baked goods.

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Running & training are going well.  I've been working out like a beast the last couple weeks and am feeling great.  I cruised through 5 miles on the treadmill yesterday and am pleased to report I have some muscle definition popping through on my stomach and arms.  Of course, that only spurs me to work harder and do more, so it's a win-win situation.  I love being strong and lean and I'm proud to say I look and feel better at 41 than I did at 31 or even 21.

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A Day In the Life - Friday version

Someday, when I've keeled over from exhaustion, or possibly when I've finally thrown in the towel and retired to an easier life, I'll look back on this period in my life and say "How on earth did I do it all?"  Even to me, who's in the thick of it, it's amazing how full my days can be.  And before you start thinking I'm tootin' my own horn and bragging about my parental prowess, please know that it's not that.  No way...I'm not saying I'm doing ANY of this WELL...but I am doing it, and I'm not exactly sure how.  But I do want a record of this phase so that I can look back and...well, I'm not sure what I'll look back and say or feel about it.

So here's my day so far.  (Today being Friday, November 30th, 2012 at approximately 6:50pm.)

I worked last night so I got home about midnight, tucked the house in, then settled down to read for a few minutes.  I stumbled to bed about 12:30am and promptly fell asleep.

7:30am - The alarm went off and even though I hit snooze, I know better than to roll over and get comfortable.  So I grabbed my phone, scrolled through Facebook and checked email.  Then I headed straight for the coffee pot, followed by feeding the felines circling my legs.

7:45am - I woke the kids up, turning on some soft classical music and rubbing their backs.  I myself was not woken so gently as a kid and I HATED it, so I vowed a long time ago to be more gentle with my kids in the morning. 

8:00am - Packed Sam's lunch, sipped coffee, started to get my stuff organized for school.

8:15am - Made kids some breakfast, myself a piece of toast, then headed to my room to get dressed and ready for the day.

8:30am - Picked up the pace, trying to get everyone out the door to school.  Gathered backpacks, lunches, kids, school stuff and coffee.

8:50am - Arrive at school, start getting my stuff set up for my class.

9:00am-12:00pm - Teach my classes, which was pretty low key for the biology class and a bit more noisy and busy for the 2-hour boys class. 

12:00-12:15pm - Tidy up the classroom, gather my stuff, make sure my kids are settled in with their lunches, then head to the grocery store for a few things and to find some lunch for myself.

12:15-1:00pm - Grab some snacks for afterschool party and supplies for making cookie bars for Book Club cookie exchange, return a phone call to a friend, grab a sandwich at Subway, and head back to school.

1:15pm-2:30pm - Talk to office secretary about next semester, write up the blurbs for my proposed classes, research supplies and make a list of things I will need.

2:30-3:45 - Help with afterschool holiday party, chat with other parents, help clean up.

4:00pm - Home at last. (Thankfully this is my Friday off so I didn't have to rush out of school, run home to shower, drive back to pick up kids, drive back home to drop kids off at my parents' house, then get to work by 3pm.)   At last, I finally have a few hours of downtime.  And by downtime, I mean catching up on housework, doing laundry, baking brownies to take to a friend's house tomorrow, and start baking cookie bars for the cookie exchange.

As a sidenote, I never did actually eat the sandwich I bought at Subway. I did eat the chips I bought while I typed up my class proposal, and I managed to grab a handful of snacks at the school party, but I ended up letting Hubby eat the sandwich for dinner.  Total time saver.  Didn't have to make dinner.  Ha!

Now it is 7:08pm, I'm hungry and I need to go get started on my "downtime" before another busy day tomorrow.  :)  But tomorrow will be fun because we're going to some new friends' house and I will be learning how to cook Filipino food. I anticipate that after we get the kids tucked into bed, I will curl up with my book or zone out to a cooking show for a bit.  Probably won't be to bed until at least 11:00pm. 

Things I Really Wanted to Do Today and Didn't:  Get to the gym for at least an hour, return books to the library, eat my sandwich.

Random thoughts

On homeschooling...

We are almost 2 months into the school year and things are going pretty well. The kids are going to LA three days a week this year - two for core enrichment + Fun Fridays.  I'm really liking the new curriculum (Sonlight) we're using at home this year although we only have two days a week at home so we're not really able to stay on it's "schedule".  But I had planned all along to stretch it over two years so no biggie.  I think the kids are doing well and are happy.  Sam and I have had a few fights about his cooperation, but I think we've gotten those sorted out.  Overall, we've had some really great days of learning that make me feel successful and enthused. 

On running...

Running has all but disappeared from my life at this point.  I mean, I still think about it all the time and I'm still trying to get back into a gym routine but so far life has really just prevented that and it frustrates me.  I feel pulled in mulitiple directions this year, more so than before, even though the kids are at school an extra day. It seems something keeps popping up on the days they're at school and I end up skipping my workouts.  It's not like I haven't been going at all, but it definitely has not been consistently 3x a week like I'd hoped. And I'm such a fair-weather runner that now that it's gotten colder and wetter, I find it hard to run outside.  I know I need to just buck up and do it.  I'll work on that.

On kids...

It's amazing to me that they are already 10 & 7.  I sometimes feel like there are whole years that I've missed or forgotten.  Sam is doing really good.  He's enjoying school and still just loves his teacher, Mr. N.  He is bonding with his friends more and feeling more confident.  Zoe just continues to bloom.  Her teacher says she is so friendly and sweet in the classroom, a great student and super bright.  Both kids are doing soccer this fall which is fun, if not a bit cold to spectate at times.  Sam fluctuates between not trying much and standing around on the field, to occasionally really putting his nose to the grindstone and TRYING.  It simultaneously broke my heart and made me so proud this weekend when the last half of the game, Sam really kicked into gear.  Our team was up like 6-0 so the coach shuffled the boys around in the positions, putting the usual forwards and goal-scorers back on defense and moving the defensemen up, giving them a chance to score.  Sam really started TRYING to score, something that has eluded him so far, and he had a great pass to a teammate who scored, and then THREE shots on goals that the goalie got lucky and stopped.  I was a mess on the sidelines, nearly in tears, screaming and yelling for him.  Then, when the ref blew the whistle ending the game, Sam put his hands over his face and kind of started to cry.  I went out to him to make sure he was ok, and I could tell he was just SO disappointed that he didn't get a goal.  He was trying SO hard, really trying, and he STILL didn't get a goal.  It just about killed me to see him so disappointed, but I repeatedly told him how proud I was of him, how well he had done and that I KNEW if he kept doing that, that he would get a goal.  I was so proud of his effort and determination but it killed me that, this time, it didn't pay off for him.

On work...

I'm still working and lately it feels like just too much.  Josh & I both agree that I really need to be home more evenings so we're trying to get it figured out so I can cut my hours back.  I've told my boss that I want to cut back to a .5 so we'll see if we can make it happen.  I don't think she was very happy to hear it, but oh well.  Josh is miserable at his job and is looking and applying elsewhere almost daily.  Fortunately he's had quite a bit of electrical work on the side to give him some satisfaction and extra money. I've always wanted to be home more but lately it just feel more urgent that I do so.  Like, I'm missing out and things are going down the tube while I'm gone.  I know that sounds rather melodramatic, but as the kids are getting older, I just feel like it's more important for me to be around more.  Yes, I'm home with them during the days, but the evenings are the time we need.  There's no expectations, no schoolwork, no chores...just time to be together...and that's what I'm missing out by being at work.  I just keep praying that a better job will come along for Josh, where he feels more satisfied and where we can afford for me to be home more.  Also, that I can get it figured out at work to cut back. 

Another development on the school/work front is that I got drafted into teaching a Friday class at the kids' school.  Due to some teacher changes over the summer, it messed up the Friday class schedule and there were 8 boys who ended up without a first period class.  So the office gals and the principal decided that I would be the perfect one to do it and asked it I would take it on.  I'd kind of been thinking about doing a couple Friday classes next semester because there just weren't many options for boys around Sam's age and I had some good ideas, so I just got started sooner than I'd anticipated.  This time, we're just calling the class "Boys Will Be Boys" and I'm doing whatever I think boys would be interested in.  That was going along fine for a few weeks until last Thursday, I got cornered again and asked to take on two more periods.  The 2nd period class is all my same boys, so I just keep them for two hours instead of one, but the other class was a Biology class for 7th-9th graders.  Ack!  Friday classes are just fun, hands-on, low-key things so it really isn't as bad as it sounds.  I'm going to just have to come up with some fun experiments and videos and such to keep them occupied for an hour.  They were happy to see me take over the class, even though they don't know anything about me, because the science teacher that was teaching it didn't really "get" Friday classes.  He was lecturing above their heads and giving them homework, which is SO not what Friday classes are about. So they were relieved to see him gone.  Hopefully I can be a bit more fun, yet teach them a little bit at the same time.  And hey, I'm getting paid $30/hour for each class.  Granted I'm a little tired on Fridays after working Thursday nights, but I can think of worse ways to make $90.  And hopefully before next semester, I can get my work schedule at the hospital adjusted and it won't be so bad.  I have to confess, that if I can plan ahead and figure out what I'm doing by Wednesdays, it really isn't a big deal.  I'm kind of having fun with it and the kids don't care that I roll in there with a ball cap on and coffee in hand. 

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Life is still crazy and some days I can't believe all that I pack into it, but hopefully we'll get some things rearranged and everything will settle down.  There are so many things I want to do and accomplish and yet I just keep running out of hours in the day.

The best laid plans...

My plans to try the Paleo diet were completely discarded back in April when, two days after I started, my Dad ended up in the hospital.  He'd gone in for a scheduled procedure on April 5th and ended up with nearly fatal complication. After several days in ICU, and a few more on the cardiac floor, he came home.  But during that time, needless to say, my focus wasn't on what I was eating.  So that diet plan got discarded.  Hubby continued on it for several weeks and lost a few pounds I think.

So, here I am, three months later.  My race was about 3.5 weeks ago and I've only run once during that time.  Unfortunately, my ITB flared up during the race and slowed me down the 2nd half of the race.  Life also has been pretty darn busy lately and with the kids being out of school, I haven't really had much "free" time to be able to get out and run.  I went out for 3 miles the other evening and felt some twinges in my knee again.  I've got two more races on the agenda - one in September, one in October - so I really want to get back in the routine of running regularly.  Besides, I just miss it. 

I miss being tired.  I miss my sore legs.  I miss being sweaty.  I miss pushing myself.  I miss the ability to eat whatever I want with a clear conscience.  I miss feeling healthy & strong. 

But I know I'll get there.  This is just a brief and temporary break from my regular, scheduled training.  Thank goodness I changed my mind about trying to train for a marathon this summer!  No way would that be happening right now.  :)  But soon.

Going Paleo

In an attempt to get the most out of myself, my workouts and my life, I've made a change.  I've been harboring a secret fascination with the Paleo diet for awhile now. Other bloggers that I've followed have had awesome results and loudly proclaim the virtues of this way of eating.  So, in the last week or so, I've done a ton of reading about it and, to be honest, it makes sense to me.

I was trying to work up the courage to plead my case to Hubby in hopes that he would join me in this new venture, but turns out I didn't have to.  He heard me talking to his dad about it and said "Let's do it!".  So, over the last day or so we've been trying to ease into the Paleo way of eating.  We're going to give it a serious try for about 30 days and see how we feel.

Yesterday was only partially Paleo for me.  I went out shopping, to get stocked up on things we needed, and got SERIOUSLY hungry.  Like, I was gonna hurl shortly if some kind of grub didn't get in the tank.  Unfortunately, we were at Costco and I couldn't stomach the thought of either a hot dog or pizza (although they DID sound good).  So I got the new turkey & provolone toasted sandwich and ate about half of it.

One exception I am making on this plan is that I will continue drinking my morning coffee with cream and sugar.  I'll cut dairy and sugar and grains out of the rest of my day, but there's no way in hell I am giving up my morning coffee.  And trust me, you don't want me to.  This cavegirl would be VERY, VERY cranky if she had to give up her morning brew.

So.

To chronicle this, I'm going to try to keep a daily log of what I eat, maybe even a few photographs and recipes too.  I also want to take Before & After photos of Hubby and I, just for our own viewing (unless of course I suddenly turn into a supermodel), but it'll be a good visual of any progress we make.  I will continue working out along the way.  Hubby is doing it mostly for the weight loss and I'm just trying to see if I can shed this layer of "fluff" that is padding my tightening muscles.  And I'm just really curious about what results I'll see.

Day 1 (so far):

Morning Eats:
2 cups of coffee w/ cream & a little sugar (I did cut it back a bit)
1 glass of Odwalla Superfood
1 cup of Vanilla Almond Milk (sweetened...it's what I had open and I didn't win the lottery so I can't afford to throw away food at this point)
1 Gala apple w/ almond butter
This yummy breakfast bread, which will be a staple.  I didn't use the Stevia as I don't have any.

Lunch Eats:
Scrambled egg with antelope sausage and onions

I'm headed off to work now and have packed myself a big salad full of veggies, a few slivered almonds and dried cranberries.  I'll bring along some snacks because I know I'll be hungry.  I haven't had nearly enough protein today, but I got busy.  We'll work on coming up with a meal plan for the week maybe tomorrow, because I can already tell that lack of planning will be our downfall. Eating this way requires preparation and planning.  Otherwise it'll be way too easy to grab something unhealthy.

Kate from A to Z

Just trying to get *something* posted so I'm copying Rhi because I'm uninspired at the moment.

A. Age: 40.  And I'm actually totally OK with announcing it.


B. Bed size: King - A horribly uncomfortable King that we need to return to Costco.

C. Chore that you hate: Mopping the floor.

D. Dogs: One - Tessa, a black lab mix we adopted about 3 years ago from the shelter.  She is our resident cat herder (I have 4).
E. Essential start to your day:  Multiple cups of coffee.

F. Favorite color:  Red

G. Gold or Silver:  Silver.

H. Height:  Just a smidge under 5' 9".

I. Instruments you play: The piano. Although I've always wanted to play the cello.

J. Job title:  Health Unit Coordinator.

K. Kids:  Two - Sam is 9 1/2, Zoe 6 1/2

L. Live:  In a big red house on 5 acres in the country.

M. Mother’s name:  Darys.  Unusual, I know.  Her father's name was Daryl, so they took off the "L" and added and "S".

N. Nicknames:  Kater

O. Overnight hospital stays:  4 that I can recollect.  The first was when I was about 10. I had some type of liver infection. Second was when I had my tonsils out at the age of 29.  Then 3rd and 4th were when I had the kiddos.
P. Pet peeves:  Wet and/or messy countertops.  Lazy people.

Q. Quote from a movie:  "You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?"
R. Right- or left-handed: Right

S. Siblings:  Two older sisters.

U. Underwear:  Let's just suffice it to say I have several different styles:  daily kind, workout kind, sleeping kind.
V. Vegetable(s) you hate:  Peas. I'd say squash and brussel sprouts but I'd have to confess that I haven't really had them as an adult.
W. What makes you run late:  Getting up late after working the night before, forgetting something at home and having to go back for it.

X. X-Rays you’ve had:  Knees, hand, elbow

Y. Yummy food that you make:  I make killer chicken & black bean enchiladas, lemony garlic roasted potatoes, broccoli salad, banana bread.....there's alot of yummy things I make!

Z. Zoo animal:  Tigers.  And otters. 

Sunny

Today was one of those rare February days:  gloriously sunny and about 55°.  There was still a crisp and light quality to the air that is reminiscent of early Spring, but still, it was HEAVEN.  There was a brisk breeze that kept me from truly feeling warm, but the sun streaming in the windows was a treat.

Well, actually the sun streaming in my windows illuminated exactly how dirty my windows were so I found myself cleaning the insides of several of the windows. Then I noticed that the sun also lit up the fine haze of dust on my counters and dining room table.  So I wiped those down. And the floors always need to be done, so I swept and vacummed.  And since I was tidying things up, I went ahead and changed my sheets.  I wasn't going to hog all the sunshiny cleaning fun, so I shared the joy with the kids and let them empty the garbages, pick up their scattered things, unload the dishwasher and fill the woodbox. 

We made a quick trip to the store and library, then came home and worked on dinner.  The sunshine demanded that the BBQ be put back to use, so it was decided that dinner would be a Greek theme.  Souvlaki chicken, Greek salad and lemony garlic roasted potatoes.  My dad came over to join us, after I extended the invitation to him earlier in the day, and we had a nice dinner.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I LOVE THE SUNSHINE.  I'm always amazed at the difference in makes in my energy level and my productivity.  Man, if I lived somewhere sunny, there's no telling what I'd accomplish.  :)